The LCBO (yes, that’s pronounced “lĭk-bō” - or at least in my house it is) here in Ontario is the “world’s largest purchaser of beverage alcohol, buying wine, spirits and beer from more than 60 countries for Ontario consumers and licensees.” Of course, they also mark it up at exhorbitant rates and make a tun of loot like some drunken pirates on the high seas.
Which is also one of the reasons the Liquor Control Board of Ontario can afford to produce the fully glossy seasonal periodical, Food & Drink: The Art of Entertaining. It frequently weighs-in over 200 pages and they give it away for free. To be fair, it’s jam-packed full of advertising by, you guessed it, alcohol producers: vintners, distillers, brewers, you name it (notably absent are the private purveyors of fine moonshine, hooch, etc., etc.). There are a few offerings from record labels as well. Heck, there should probably be a pull-out section devoted solely to the Bronfman empire interests. So surely, it must pay for itself without dipping into the earnings. And in spite of myself, I actually kinda like it.
However, they also produce such questionably named recipe guides like 100% Delicious Cocktail Recipes (with a pink drink that would appear to be “The Pear Experience” from inside) and hokey advertising campains like Whisky Rocks (which feature guitars, amplifiers and the tagline, “No swizzles, no straws, no umbrellas.”) which couldn’t possibly endear them to an audience with any discerning taste for the spirit. But then I think of The Beer Store’s new glossy, Chill, which seems to cater directly to the needs of foam/mesh-hat wearing sports zombies (aside: they recently ran a feature on the Rock Paper Scissors Championships with our own mp pictured on the TOC page. I mean - what the?!?). I guess when you’re hosed, you’ll read anything.
But I digress.
Until recently, I had a stack of these various publications lying around the house until a saner hand took hold and my girlfriend, less pack-rat than I, decided there was no way we’d ever use them all and summarily disposed of them.
I’m not sure what the point of all this was. I think I was set off upon discovering the nifty little Guide to Eating Ontario Sport Fish by the Ministry of the Environment of Ontario on the shelf of the LCBO today thinking that somehow it was a peculiar new foray into uncharted waters for the Lickbow. Most of it is tables on fishing locations, what kind of fish you’ll find there and how many fish-inches you can consume from that particular location - presumably before liver failure due to toxic levels of dioxin, mercury, lead, and whatever else the liberal media are leaching into the water table.
However, the middle part is a glossy (love it!) section on “Fish Identification” replete with pictures of fish you can catch in Ontario. This alone easily puts it on the bathroom shelf.
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